#BLACKLIVESMATTER

There are so many exciting things happening in my life right now, that I wanted to talk about in this post. Despite the pandemic we’re are all dealing with, God has really shown me so much favor over the past year and I am so grateful. Today’s post was supposed to be an update of my life since you guys haven’t heard from me in almost two months. However, when I created this space, I created it to be more than a platform to focus solely on myself. It was also created to be a voice for the undervalued, black society. So with my voice, I am choosing to address the elephant in the room and it sure isn’t COVID-19. 

So obviously COVID-19 has been the topic of the day for months, now. Everyday, all day I get consistent updates and emails about the latest statistics dealing with this pandemic. However, what about the racism pandemic? Don’t think racism is a pandemic? Let me further explain. A pandemic is defined as the prevalence of a disease over a whole country or the world. Racism, I believe is a disease. A curable one. It is a disease that I believe begins in the home of young children and is passed down generation to generation. It is a disease that is across this country and has been for centuries. Many attempts have been made to find a cure. Many peoples’ names’ have been written in history books because of strides taken to advocate for justice and equality for all. Yet, here we are in 2020 and the same things that were happening during slavery, continue to exist today. 

I’ve seen many posts regarding the latest killing of yet ANOTHER unarmed African American, man. I’ve seen the latest clip of ANOTHER black man being killed on camera. I’ve seen the news broadcast ANOTHER riot of African Americans expressing their frustrations. I’ve seen ANOTHER tweet from the bigot and incompetent human some refer to as a President. 

My fiancé asked me the other day how I felt about the killing of George Floyd. When he asked me I had very few words to say. Usually, I’m the one that’s raving to him about our oppressed culture, but lately the roles have changed. I’m honestly mentally and physically exhausted. I am overwhelmed. 

This country has turned killing black people into a hobby. The cycle has become so predictable. Every month there’s a different black man being killed. Social media takes off with a hashtag. News outlets do a background check to find anything to degrade the victim’s character. Black people peacefully protest. Black people riot. A week later, everything is back to normal. Next month the cycle starts again. ANOTHER black person is killed on camera by the very people that  are supposed to protect us. 

When I began to see tweets and clips of George Floyd’s murder, I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t think twice about scrolling past them. Why? Because my society has normalized the killing of people that share the same color of skin as me. Do you realize how inhumane that is? Me, a woman of color, an educated black woman, who is hyperaware of my culture’s history, have become numb to the killing of people that look like my fathers, my grandfathers, my fiancé, my brothers, my uncles, cousins, godson and my innocent, and black speech babies who will one day grow up and have to fear for their lives. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. To say I’m hurt is belittlement to my emotions. Tears well in my eyes as I type this because it breaks my heart to know that I live in a world that will never be accepting of me or my family because of my skin. It terrifies me to know that it is very likely that someone I know and love could die because of the skin GOD created them in.  

I see white people post “all lives matter” and “cops lives matter” and looting/rioting is not a way to fix the problem. Here’s my take on that. Yes, all lives DO matter but ALL lives aren’t being targeted by policemen. BLACK lives are being targeted by policemen. WE are not saying #blacklivesmatter to minimize other lives. WE are saying it to bring light to a situation. So instead of displaying white privilege and making things about yourself, how about becoming an ally. 

Do I agree with looting and rioting? No. I love everything Martin Luther King stood for, to bring justice and unity to our world. However, there comes a time when you become sick and tired of being sick and tired. I may not agree with rioting but I understand.  

White people, take a moment. Think about if it was your child walking home or going for a jog. What if it was your son playing with a toy gun? What if it was your wife who failed to use a turn signal? What if it was your husband forced down by a policeman and held by a knee until his death? What if it were your race of people who were abused, degraded, bullied and murdered because of the skin God chose to put them in. You’ll never fully understand but you could try. 

Thank you to the people in my life that don’t share the same color of skin as me, but take every opportunity they have to speak up for people that do look like me. I see you and I respect you more than you know. Know that it will always take your courage to help us move forward to a better tomorrow. 

I fear bringing a black and beautiful son into this world. I fear my future husband leaving home someday and never coming back solely due to the color of his skin. I fear for my family and friends. I should never have to live in a world of fear, but I do.

Say their names. See their skin. Think of their families. Remember the ones we’ve lost because black lives DO matter. How do I know? Because God says so.