Wow! First off, let’s address the elephant in the room. Where the heck have I been?!? Life has been knocking me left and right the last few weeks. Work has been busy, the holiday season has been hectic and my personal life has been a hot mess. Nothing excites me more than to be back in this space. I have been on this blog journey for three months now, and I have loved every moment I get to express my thoughts, feelings and lessons learned with you all. So, with that being said, I thought I would end my last post of 2019 with five helpful things I have learned this past year and decade.
The first one is: Be specific with your prayers and goals. It’s about to be the beginning of the new year and decade and everyone have things they want to accomplish. A popular resolution for people is to lose weight. In a previous blog post I called “Small Wins,” I talked about setting smaller goals to accomplish the larger ones. If you know you hate going to the gym, then don’t begin the new year saying you are going to go to the gym every single day or five days a week. It would be wise to begin going 2-3 times a week and build yourself up to 5-6 days. Not only should you set smaller goals, but you should pray over those goals and be SPECIFIC about what it is you want.
I learned about the beauty in specificity about two years ago. I can’t quite remember if I learned it in church or listening to a podcast, but either way it has been life changing for me. Every time I pray, I pray specifically for what I want. I tweeted this on Twitter last Thursday (follow my moves all week on Twitter @kennyattag_), but praying specifically about what I want has taught me that not only will God bless me with what I asked for, but a lot of times He will bless us with so much more. He legit loves us that much. Over the last two years, I cannot count the times I prayed specifically for what I wanted and I watched God bless me with so much more. It works, I promise. Trust me.
The second one is: You outgrow people and that’s okay. This one was tough for me a few years ago. Relationships are an essential part of life. When I say relationships I’m not only speaking from a life partner but also family, friends, colleagues, etc. I have ended relationships with people in my life for various reasons but the most common reason is because I outgrew certain situations and behaviors. I used to be so hard on myself and constantly asked myself “Will people think I’m stuck up?” because there are certain things I didn’t want to do anymore. I’ve realized that I am not. As I’ve grown older, there are some things that I won’t do. That does not make me better than the next person however, it does show that me and that person were in different stages in our life. Where I am going, may not be the same place you are going. As we’ve all heard, you can’t take everyone with you. Some people that we have encountered are only meant to be in our lives for a season and that is okay.
Third: Self-reflection is essential. Specifically, 2019 has taught me this one. Going into conflict situations and never thinking you have any fault or never attempting to see another person’s perspective is selfish. I am always trying to be the best version of Kennyatta. The best daughter, the best granddaughter, the best sibling, the best girlfriend and etc. Conflict is apart of life and a lot of time it is good. It can good when a person is able to see their flaws and things they can do to be better. Self-reflection has taught me to not only think of my feelings and perspective but also look another person’s prospective. Thinking of how it made another person feel and how things could have been done differently can be so eye opening. This mindset has allowed me to mend conflict in my relationships sooner because after taking a different view I decided at some point, it is not all about me. Sometimes we can be so self-centered that we lose sight of the bigger picture. The bigger picture is that holding a grudge or arguing back and forth is not worth it. I can be a queen of holding a grudge but I’ve learned holding grudges can also block the good things that can happen in my life (and listen, I need blessings just as much as the next person). So, I’d rather admit my wrong, forgive you for yours and move forward, rather than block any blessing God has for me. It’s just not worth it and let’s be honest it takes way too much energy to be upset about petty things.
The fourth thing I have learned is: It is okay if everything isn’t going as planned. This one is MAJOR for me. It was major yesterday, today, and it will be tomorrow. I am a planner. I plan my life in every aspect so much that I get anxiety from it. I am the epitome of “GOALdigger” because when I set a goal or plan, I expect it to happen just how me and my mind discussed it would. I do everything I need to do to execute. I’m sure you all have heard the funny saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Well I am pretty sure God is laughing hysterically at me because I am always telling Him what I want and need to happen and He doesn’t listen, lol. There are so many things that I have accomplished thus far that I am extremely proud of but there are also somethings that I wanted to happen in a certain time that didn’t. For example, I wanted to pledge AKA in undergrad. However, the college I went to didn’t bring sororities on campus until the year after I graduated. I don’t know why God allowed me to wait but I do know the experience I gained pledging graduate chapter and sharing it with my mother was so worth the wait. My plan was to never move home after I finished college but God had other plans for me that included me finding a job that isn’t perfect but one that I truly love.
I say that to say, God can see so much more than us. His plan is always greater. Don’t stress a delay or denial because what you thought would happen, hasn’t happened. What God has planned for you is already yours. It just may not be in your timing. Alright Evangelist Kennyatta is almost finished.
The final tip I have for going into 2020 is: PROTECT YOUR PEACE SIS …and bro. Sometimes when nothing seems to be going right in your life, peace is all you have. Think about this, people, money and material things fade away without our control. One thing you can control is your mindset and your peace. Protecting your peace isn’t always about not arguing with people. It can simply be deleting or blocking negative people off your social media or decreasing the time and energy you give them. My friend and I have this running joke about me being the queen of unfollowing and deleting people from my social media accounts. Over the last couple of years, I have zero tolerance for complaining, negativity, bragging, vulgar, annoying post that people make. The beautiful thing about social media is being able to pretty much control your newsfeed. If every day you’re negative, boastful, and unhappy then I have the right to remove that energy from my sight because if I see that enough then that energy may transfer to me. See things don’t necessarily have to be directed to you in order to protect your peace. The same way I’ll delete people off my feed is also the same way I will delete people out of my life. You have to love yourself enough to know that the people you have outgrown, the people that make you think/talk negatively and the people that are truly unhappy with themselves don’t deserve to interrupt your happiness or peace. Protecting your peace is about loving yourself. One day, I will be a wife and a mother. If I don’t love myself enough to protect my energy and peace then how can I ever love someone else the way they are supposed to be loved? Those roles require me to love myself and protect myself before I can transfer those energies to anyone else.
Whew, I said I a lot, didn’t I? If you made it to this point of my post then you are definitely a real one. Anyways, I’m looking forward to not only 2020, but this new decade. Take the time before January 1 and write down your goals for the next year, five years and ten years. Don’t let another ten years pass and you’re in the same position you were in ten years ago. Be better. Want better. Do better. I wish you all a Happy New Year and I look forward to writing to you all in 2020!